SOPHIE

Should posthumous work exist?

My AirPods sit snug in my ears as soft streams of tears fall down my face. The volume destroying my future hearing. Blood pumping through my heart increases as the beat of the song pushes and pulls me through a strange mix of highs and lows, my chest like a kick drum. Despite the anxiety making me feel hyper aware of my slowly dying body, I start to float inside of myself. I can no longer feel the heat trapped in my skin nor the wetness on my cheeks. My body no longer mine, but rather an extension of the air around me. The song comes to a close and I play it again. Then again. Three replays later and an ocean of tears begins to fill my studio. A textural landscape of sound coats my ears the same way honey coats my mouth. A higher keyed voice that I find so familiar and comforting sings the same melody again and again as if I might forget it. A melody that will be connected to my brain’s neural pathways like a USB for the rest of my life. We have arrived at a moment in time that I never expected to happen.

I look down at my phone to see the screen light up revealing ‘Reason Why (feat. KIM PETRAS and BC Kingdom)’ the first single from the posthumous release of Sophie Xeon’s self titled album. The album we were meant to have heard three years ago, but instead we were met with the shocking news of her sudden misstep with death. On January 30, 2021, Sophie tragically and fatally falls from a rooftop in Greece while trying to get closer to the full wolf moon; the first full moon of that year as well as the same moon that entranced me, like sisters being called to kinship. I wept for Sophie, reading endless headlines across my phone. There’s an interesting shift in a parasocial relationship when the person you found comfort in no longer exists. Not to say she doesn’t exist within her music, which she does, but physically we will never be graced with the presence of Sophie Xeon ever again, and I wept even more at the thought.

Three years later in 2024, we are listening to an emotionally charged first single off the upcoming album we all held our breath for. Unexpectedly, upon first listen, I cried uncomfortable tears; for Sophie’s death, for the trans community moving forward without her, for music moving on without her, for visualizing her nimble hands touching and blessing the music that runs through my headphones, car speakers, and the bass heavy amplifiers in clubs. It's too much to process as I mourn the loss of the greatest producer, DJ, and artist we had. It feels more personal to me as we share the same community being trans. Another icon and queer staple gone, as if to have done all she needed to do on this earth and leave knowing she had finished her work. But there is so much we never got from her. The music being a suffocating and endlessly torturous reminder of her presence on earth.

Through tribute songs from the likes of Charli XCX, Caroline Polachek, AG Cook, and even St. Vincent, we start to understand the deep impact she had on the industry, her friends/collaborators, and even people like St. Vincent who never met her. The backbone of her artistry ran streams through every piece of music the last decade and beyond, while also pioneering the fastest growing genre, hyper pop. Sophie sought to take the best parts of pop music and flip it upside down giving it a textural grip and sensorial makeover that completely captivated audiences, me included. Her talent acting like a shield of impenetrable armor that her collaborators couldn’t defeat.

‘Wish I’d tried to pull you closer / You pushed me hard, made me focus / Your words brutal, loving, truthful / I was petrified’ said Charli XCX on her emotionally wrecking tribute song entitled ‘So I’ that seeks to find the right words to say sorry for never getting close enough to the late producer.

When I think of Sophie, my brain immediately transports me to ‘It’s Okay To Cry’ from the album ‘Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides.’ A heartbreaking ballad of self actualization in her trans body. This particular music video was the first time audiences saw the artist’s face. Fully nude against an ever changing backdrop of cosmos and blue skies and rainbows, Sophie presents herself in her womanhood. Her auburn hair burns through the screen in a fiery contrast to her pale Scottish skin, while a glossy blood-red washes over her lips. The video and lyrics evoke a heartbreaking, yet uplifting tone of allowing yourself to feel every last emotion and Sophie telling you it’s okay to do so. My favorite aspect being the use of her actual voice without autotune, showing the vulnerability of transness. We usually see artists pitching up to sonically sound similar to their cisgendered female counterparts, while Sophie breaks down all barriers to show an authentic side of her inner truth. The song now takes on a whole new embodiment after death with audiences using the song as an emotional release and symbolization of their grief for her being gone. I will never listen the same way I used to, yet I do still listen.

I also think of her work on the ‘Vroom Vroom’ EP with Charli XCX. The pivotal moment in music that forced a cultural reset. With Sophie’s production we come to understand Charli as a force to be reckoned with. A boundary pushing pop icon ready to re-introduce herself to the world. Previously tied to a radio focused sound, Charli entered a new realm of making music. With a loud clashing of aluminum and metal sounding bangs and clangs, we hear, “Let’s Ride,” and suddenly we are transported. Now we have no choice but to scream as soon as we hear the first millisecond of the track. That was the power Sophie presented us, giving us no choice but to relinquish all control to her godly brain. Would ‘Brat’ era Charli exist without Sophie? I really, truly do not think so. Without the push she had from Sophie in the ‘Vroom Vroom’ days, we would not see such a confident and fully embodied Charli XCX today.

While continuing to grieve and feel anger over this parasocial relationship I have with Sophie, it sparks the question, would she have wanted this? The ethics of posthumous release of work is a debated topic, one not everyone agrees on. Some believe it’s about the fans and what they deserve for being devoted to the artist’s work, while others believe the artist should have complete autonomy over what the general public hears/sees. I fall somewhere in between with a less entitled perspective than most fans. Posthumous releases should/need to exist if the work was on the precipice of existing in the world anyway; in the artist’s complete and final vision of course. It seems with this upcoming Sophie record, it was. But how can an artist have autonomy over their work once deceased?

Sophie’s brother, Ben Long, who was her long time collaborator and manager fell into possession of Sophie’s entire body of work, both released and unreleased. It will be interesting to learn about the process that Ben went through to finalize these tracks, knowing exactly what Sophie envisioned for the project back in 2021. According to him, the album was nearly ready for release before her death. This tells me we can anticipate a record dripping with the juices of Sophie’s brain, with small helping hands along the way. We can already hear the sound we’ve been missing in pop music with this first single. ‘Reason Why’ presents a classic bubblegum pop that we know and love with the additional fullness and textures of sound that Sophie is famous for.

I still remain weary of the release of her work as the wound of her passing stays fresh three years later. Her ability to create worlds out of sound continues to leave me without the proper words to describe it, like being on the most glamorous acid trip. With the release of ‘SOPHIE’ we take a scalpel to the wound and pry it open, revealing all of the reasons why we love her as well as reflect on the notion that we will never have someone that comes close to creating such irreplaceable art like her. Her brain will forever be trapped in the heavens, suspended in time and space. No longer are we able to access the inner workings of her genius. Someone might come close, but they will never be Sophie. That’s what makes posthumous work hurt the most. What are we gaining from hearing these tracks other than the pain of a knife through each of our connected hearts. Her music being the link between all of us. But, I think it deserves to be heard.

Sophie changed the landscape of music in a way that will never be the same. Through hyper pop and PC music (music label), her and AG Cook were able to cement themselves as the leaders of a generation questioning the norms of what pop music can be and what it can do. The demand for Sophie’s music began while she was alive and only became more engaged after her passing. Music leaks, while not ethical, are the backbone of modern day fandoms allowing a fan base to crave and devour as much of an artist’s catalogue as they can. I find that leaks and posthumous work tend to levitate in the same category while the latter remains nuanced. We cannot ethically distribute an artist’s music without their direct approval. Leaks prove that time and time again.

I go back and forth in support for the upcoming release of this album, but overall i’m genuinely excited for this project. Especially for the care and attention that her brother has seemed to provide towards it. Sophie remains my favorite artist right alongside Charli XCX. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without either of them, and I mean that. Without knowing them both personally, they have shown me mirrors back onto myself, allowing the music to lead me on a path of self actualization and much needed growth. I would not be a proud, out trans woman without Sophie. To see myself in a pop star is a rare occurrence, and she presented that to me, as if to say, “you deserve to see yourself,” and I did, we all do. At my core I know that this album is supposed to be in the world, and it’s what she would have wanted. With ‘Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides’ being her cult classic, ‘SOPHIE’ will be the work that allows her legacy to remain exactly what she wanted with the help of her brother and family. Both albums being her form of communication with the world, a look into her deepest desires and thoughts.

While I wish, like ‘Brat’ era, that we could be celebrating in every major city and in every club, watching Sophie dance on top of speakers in venues and on top of cars in New York, we must still remain consistent in energy to cement her as a trans revolutionary within the musical landscape. A posthumous album just means that we take great care of the fragments she’s left here on earth, preserving them forever. Picking up the pieces, we can embrace everything she was and celebrate her legacy as music’s greatest visionary. We love you, Sophie.